Sprinkles on my Parade

Ariana had it right when she said buy myself all of my favorite things. The difference between myself and Ariana though is that instead of buying myself and my friends diamond rings, I bought sprinkles. And not the kind of Sprinkles that Angela tried to save from the fire. I bought the kind of sprinkles that go everywhere. The kind that make you think of sweets, treats, and smiles. 

For the past year, I have been on the hunt to make the perfect beeble cookie. I missed the bakery counter at Canter’s. I wanted those perfect cookies. So buttery and flakey, that they melted in your mouth as you ate them. While Seattle may be good at a lot of things, deli counter bakeries is not one of them. This past fall, I purchased a cookbook called The 100 Most Jewish Foods and in this, I found what led me down the first rabbit hole of this story. 

A cookie gun. I needed one. They couldn’t be that hard to find. William Sonoma had to have one. I could go out to the store and have it ready to go that weekend. I was wrong. It would be two weeks until I would be able to have my cookies if I ordered my cookie gun from William Sonoma. Irrational want in my head; I wanted those cookies that exact weekend. On to Amazon on went. They had it. The Wilton Preferred Press Cookie Press, with 13-fit right discs was mine. 

When it arrived, I was so excited. I pulled out my cookie caulking gun (say that five-times-fast) and discarded the directions. Bad idea. Don’t do this. Cookie press dough is not the same as regular cookie dough. Why you ask? You cannot use parchment with these. And like any good at home baker, I had gotten everything out and ready to go prior to making anything. I struggled for a solid 15-minutes, cursing the cookie gun for its lack of working. I finally pulled the directions back out. There it was, clear as day: do not use parchment.

Annoyed with myself and my lack of paying attention to directions once again, I tossed my parchment and went on to make absolutely perfect little morsels, or so I thought…

The first time I made them, they were fantastic. I took them to work and the cookie jar was empty before the end of day. The second time, they were fine, but my edges were slightly too crispy. The third time, something was wrong. The edges were too brown, the middle was light and buttery. They just weren’t the perfect little beeble cookies I knew them to be. At this point, some of my other cookies were not coming out right, either. My oven was doing me dirty. It was running too hot. 

I knew this time around I was going to have to play a different game. I had to prep and get myself ready to make these cookies because the old way was not going to cut it. I even ordered new sprinkles – 1.8 lbs of sprinkles to be exact – and brand new, Nordic, silver baking sheets. When the sprinkles arrived, I realized that this was my time to try something new. I mean, I did order a pound of sprinkles. 

Sprinkle cookies. Beeble cookies. Oneg cookies. Kiddush cookies. I looked all of them up. And there is was: the show-down recipe. Rainbow Sprinkle Cookies. The two recipes were incredibly similar. The big difference being cream cheese in one, and egg yolks in the other. After months on being on the hunt for the perfect beeble cookie, it was now time for the sprinkle parade. 

Saturday morning, I got myself ready for my personal form of fun. Sun dress on, tassel sandals fastened, it was time to go get my nails done before baking. It really isn’t the best plan to accidentally rip them off in the kitchen, or really whenever. Nails done, groceries bought, butter softening, I made my way back home and to my kitchen. It was time to bake. And bake I did. 

By the time I had finished baking the first cookie type, it was 8:30 pm. I was covered in flour and my feet were sore. My sandals were so cute but had ditched them hours before, opting for a barefoot contessa vibe. I was done for the day. I would finish the cookies for the bake off the next morning. 

Sunday morning, it was once again go-time. Sweater and shorts, I was ready to go. Dough mixed and cookie gun filled, I was back to baking. By 11:00 am, all of the cookies had been baked. On the rack, the last batch sat cooling as I looked over all I had done. Over 100 cookies sat in my kitchen. Two jars were full and a cake tin. It was time to call in the testers. My opinion simply wasn’t enough. I needed to know which cookie was the best. Which beeble did we beeliebe in? Which sprinkle would lead the parade?

With the help of some family and friends, it was decided. The Rainbow Sprinkle Cookie won but, by one vote. Either way, cookies are cookies and just like shoes, you can never have too many in your closet or kitchen.