If I Were the Princess of Genovia…

Well, to start, if I were the Princess of Genovia I would be Anne Hathaway. I definitely not sitting here, beginning to tell you about my weekend convincing my friend that running around downtown Seattle taking pictures for Amazon, was in fact, a good idea. 

It all started when one of my co-workers asked me if I wouldn’t mind being a featured stylist. Seemed like a pretty straight-forward idea. I would be wearing my own clothes, all I needed was a picture. Just one decent picture that I would be okay with having on the site. It was after I said yes that I remember that this wasn’t like when I did product videos for Nordstrom. This was Amazon. Well, shit. I had already said I would do it. I was on the schedule. 

Thankfully, my trusty partner in crime had a background in photography and an apartment in the city. The ocean may be beautiful but, a brick background is more my vibe. I promised my friend socially distanced tacos and the Princess Diaries if she would help me take these pictures.  

Friday evening came about and I needed to make sure I had everything ready. This is also probably the time I should mention that I was only going to be gone for one night. One night. I arrived at my friend’s place with the following:

• A weekender bag that included:
  • Pajamas – the most reasonable item in this bag
  • An outfit for Saturday that I would not be photographing
  • Wine – 19 Crimes featuring Snoop Dogg to be exact
  • Unicorn Sandwich Cookies
  • My Entire Make-Up Kit
  • Straightener for my bangs…. I knew they would need it 
  • Empty Backpack
• Bag #2
  • Twin-set in Lavender by J.Crew from Amazon
  • Green Floral Skirt from H&M
  • Pink and Orange Plaid Skirt from H&M
  • Black Strappy, Block Heel Sandals from H&M
  • An Extra Face Mask
  • Belt
• Bag #3
  • My Entire Skin Care Routine
    • Toner
    • Serums
    • Moisturizers
    • Eye Creams
• Prop Purse

You read right: all of that was taken with me for one night. Just one. Apparently quick and easy travel, along with packing light, is something I missed in all of my quasi-backpacking trips. 

When I unloaded this mess at my friend’s apartment, all she could do was laugh. If you know me, you should expect nothing less. I am not anything close to a minimalist and will never pretend to be. 

After dropping all of this off, it was time for tacos. We had both been waiting for these tacos for months. With the promise of margaritas and chips, hand sanitizer and masks in hand, we ordered our next level Lyft and made our way over to Cactus. We drank. We ate. We happily sat far away from any other parties. What we weren’t prepared for was Bob…

We stood outside waiting for our ride, when all of a sudden, we heard music blaring down the street. Then we saw lights and open windows. The vehicle was slowing down. In fact, this vehicle was coming to a full and complete stop. My stomach sank. I had not had enough margaritas to get me ready for this journey back. We slowly approached and realized that yes, yes it was our Lyft. 

As we got in the vehicle, all I can say is thank god for face masks because, I could not hide my feelings about what was happening. There were microphones. There was a karaoke box and I was trapped. The very nice man driving turned around and welcomed us to his party vehicle and asked us if we were doing anything fun that evening. My friend, oh my lovely bitch of a friend, told Bob that… that it was my birthday. Bob then proceeded to serenade us with, I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. Don’t get me wrong, BSB 4 life. Nick Carter had been on my door growing up. I can still tell you if it’s Nick, Kevin, AJ, Howie, or Brian singing. I just really was not ready for what was happening. That 10-minute drive was one of the longest 10 minutes of my life. As we exited the car in tears, it was time for the entertainmentportion of our weekend. 

A little over six months ago, two of my friends decide that I should no longer be single and after lunch one day, they took my phone and signed me up for Bumble. In that six months, I am a) now living in the midst of a pandemic with the rest of the world and b) still single. Because of the latter portion of this, my friend and I took a page from The Princess Diaries 2 and… connected my phone to screenshare with her tv. We spent the better portion of our evening laughing at the nonsense people write on their profiles – No one is spending that much time hiking or at the gym. Netflix is proof of this. – eating pie, and generally laughing at the fresh hell we are living through. 

Saturday morning arrived and we were ready for a fresh start. Kraken shirts were available for purchase and we needed to get hash browns and coffee. We again, grabbed our masks and sanitizer and headed out for food. After a quick breakfast and a rescue mission to commandeer a monitor from A’s desk at work, we headed back to the apartment. We knew what we had to do. It was time to partake in the dreaded part of the weekend but not before we walked over to get new Kraken shirts (Let’s get Kraken!!!) With shirts in hand, I had nothing left to steal me from getting ready. 

I love getting dressed up. I love clothing and doing my makeup. I’m just really not fond of having someone else take my picture. While I know everyone has their own hang-ups and things that they don’t like about themselves in photographs, it doesn’t make it any easier. 

After completing a full face of make-up, doing my hair, and changing into my look, we walked a few blocks over to start scouting for a spot to take said pictures. We knew wherever we took them, it needed to be fairly quiet so that it would be okay for me to take my mask off and slip it into my prop purse. Thankfully, my friend was familiar with the area and found our first location: a mural. 

We set up on the side of the wall, looking like two fish out of water. Our set-up was very simple: backpack to shove Birks into and swap out for block heels and an iPhone. We had everything we needed. After testing a few shots to make sure the lighting was good, we were all ready to go. Shot after shot after shot, I kept telling my friend, I didn’t like them. Exasperated, she suggested we change locations. 

Off to our new spot we went. Shoes changed and masks on, we walked on to some fantastic brick steps with skyscrapers behind them. The location was perfect for anything not trying to show off my outfit as the focal point. We were about ready to give up. I jokingly turned to my friend in the middle of the walkway and just stared at her. We tried it and it worked! Shots taken, photos done, it was time for gelato. We were both worn out from my grumpy self-deprecation and very much ready to be done. 

And just like that, our weekend came to an end. No more tacos. No more pie. No more crazy karaoke vehicle. All that was left to do was submit the photos and Current Must Have statement. 

Hopefully, you’re able to get some of your own tacos. That’s definitely a current must have. Even for this fake princess. 

Sincerely, 

– S

(Thank you Ariel for taking all of the outdoor pictures of me!! I really do owe you more tacos 🌮)